Do You Want to be Just an Option?
Updated: Dec 11, 2020
I was exchanging messages with a very good-looking guy many years ago. He was not only good-looking, but he was also tall, the ideal guy any girl could dream of.
He was fun to talk to though not the smartest, but he had that smile that made any girl pine for his attention.
We only went out on a date once. Then one day, he sent me a text message asking me to be his girlfriend. It took me off guard, disappointed that he didn’t ask me personally. Though I was very attracted to him, I asked him to give us more time to know each other. In other words, I was asking him to woo me in the conventional way. But he insisted that we didn’t need that anymore. I felt something was off. I stood by my decision. I told him no.
Later, I found out that if I had accepted his proposal, I would be the fourth girlfriend. It turned out that he had 3 other girlfriends at the same time and I heard one of them was on the brink of killing herself because of the heartache he was causing her.
If I had fallen into his charms, I would be emotionally hooked to him and I would have found myself in a position where most women are into, degrading myself and accepting that I would be just an option.
It’s a common predicament with most girls. They go into a fling with a guy thinking that they just want to have fun without any strings attached. Then they become emotionally attached and the next thing they know, they are always at the guy’s beck and call, forgetting their self-worth, not to mention the crying episodes most of the time.
Why do we ever let this happen? Of course, girls have always been the emotional ones. We easily fall into a guy’s charms. We easily fall in love.
It’s the common mistake most of us girls commit. We think that when we let a guy into our pants, he will be head over heels in love with us. We assume that if we go to bed with him, he already finds his forever in us.
As I have noticed with guys, they always like a challenge. They don’t want it to be easy. As the saying goes, if it’s easy, it never lasts. Easy for them is just a passing fancy, pure fun. And once they get what they want, it’s time to say goodbye.
I knew a few friends before who were victims of this setup. Imagine the guy calling my friend late in the evening just to let her come and see him. It might seem like he missed her, but he just wanted to satisfy his carnal needs. He didn’t even put a label on their relationship.
Another friend was also just a booty call. The guy would spend the whole day with her ending up in you know where. And she wouldn’t hear from him for months after that wonderful day as what my friend would describe.
The saddest part was my friends were okay with it. I knew they were hurting but they just accepted it because they were in love. They both hoped that things would change and the guys would finally realize that they loved them after all.
It’s one of the harsh realities. Guys who treat you like trash will never see the beauty in you. You’ll only be that someone they call when they need you. You’ll only be that someone they call when they’re bored. And you’ll only be that someone who is just an option.
So, girls, please know that you are a treasure. And a treasure is always valued, taken care of and loved. If you can’t see that in a guy, then it’s time to let go. I know it’s easier said than done. But if you have a little love left for yourself, walk away before it’s too late. Don’t you want to be a priority rather than just an option?