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  • Writer's pictureFlo Patsy

I’ll Never Be Beautiful in White

Updated: Sep 7, 2020

Photo courtesy of Jayson & Lala Jayag

I was walking down the aisle, dressed in a long white gown towards a guy whose face I couldn’t yet recognize. When I reached the altar, he stood beside me. When I turned to face him, I got the shock of my life when I saw who it was. Then I woke up. “Holy crap! I got married to Jeremy Renner!”

It seemed real. But as much as I love Jeremy Renner, I still wished it was Keanu Reeves. Hahaha!

My topic for this week stemmed from the movie He’s Just Not That Into You. It’s a rom-com movie which follows the story of nine people who are dealing with love’s complexities. As one is trying to find the right one, one is struggling to save her marriage. As much as I loved the movie and the characters, I was more drawn into the lives of Beth and Neil whose characters were played by Jennifer Anniston and Ben Affleck.

Beth and Neil have been in a relationship and living together for 7 years. As much as their relationship is going strong, there is one thing lacking, marriage. Neil doesn’t believe in marriage and Beth doesn’t understand why Neil doesn’t want to marry her. This takes a toll on their relationship and Beth decides to break up with Neil prior to her sister’s wedding.

During the wedding, Beth’s father suffers a heart attack. As she is left to tend to the household while her sisters and their husbands do nothing, Neil shows up with groceries and helps with the chores. It makes Beth realize that Neil has always been a husband to her more than her brothers-in-law have been to her sisters even though they aren’t married. She finally drops the notion of marriage and gets back with Neil. As most stories have a happy ending, Neil finally proposes to Beth and they get married on Neil’s boat.

Most girls dream of their own perfect wedding. We visualize ourselves in a beautiful wedding dress, walking down the aisle where our future husband whom we consider Mr. Right is waiting for us at the altar and everybody’s teary-eyed because of the happiness that they’re sharing with us. Isn’t it every girl’s dream of getting married?

But the harsh reality comes after fulfilling this dream. It is never a bed of roses after all. Problems arise. Misunderstandings come out. Fights become frequent. The adjustment is just as shocking as when Brangelina broke up. You realize that the husband you have married is not the same person anymore when you still have been dating.

No marriage is perfect as what they always say. But most of the time, the reason for our disappointments is our choices. Most women have this fear of not getting married that they make the mistake of being with the wrong person. Most women expect too much from their husbands. But of course, it should also be the husband’s obligation to make their wives feel secure emotionally, morally and financially.

I know a lot of married people who confided in me about their husbands. I can feel the burden in them and how it’s taking a toll on them and their marriage. And even though I feel what they’re going through, I have realized that it’s not that bad being single, without anybody to think of but myself.

People don’t always believe me when I say I’m really okay being single, that marrying someone someday is already out of the question. But believe me when I say I’m telling the truth. It’s just a matter of how you perceive life even without someone to spend it with.

I know it’s just a movie but I think that Beth and Neil’s situation really makes sense. The best partner doesn’t need to be your husband. The best partner is considerate of your needs. The best partner is thoughtful of your feelings. It doesn’t need marriage for a good guy to do that.

A friend once told me that once you are married, those guys suddenly come out of the woodwork and will make you ponder if you have made the right choice of marrying your husband.

So, for the young women out there, don’t rush yourself into marriage. Don’t force your boyfriends to marry you. Take the time to enjoy life and explore your youth. There’s always the right time to be with the right person for that.

I know you will ask me, “Oh, do you want me to be like you, single for the rest of your life?” I will tell you, “I’ve made poor choices with relationships, but I’m just glad I got out of them before it’s too late. It was really never meant to be.”

You have to understand that there’s nothing wrong with being single. You just have to embrace the splendor of it.

As for me, I have already accepted the fact that I’ll be single for the rest of my life. I will never be beautiful in white.

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