Updated: Sep 7, 2020
I don’t consider myself smart or witty. I consider myself as just a so-so, normal kind of person. I don’t want complications. I just want everything to be simple. Less worries, less headaches. But there are certain things that will devour you and pull you into an abyss. You seem to think that there’s no other way out, nothing you can do, you just have to die and be at peace.
But life offers us a lot of choices. I don’t believe when somebody says, “I don’t have a choice.” We always have a choice. There won’t be much but there always will be. Of course, along the choices that we make are the consequences. That’s why we need to think before we do, deliberate before we act. But remember this. Though we are very careful with the choices we make, it doesn’t assure us that it will yield an efficacious outcome. It can make or break us. It doesn’t guarantee us that we will be vindicated from the imprisonment of the burden that we are carrying. But it will give us a sense of audacity in life. That no matter how big the problem is, we have the will to choose, the courage to try something else. I have made a major leap in my life a few years back. And right now, I am having this dilemma again. Not being a risk-taker, it is quite daunting to decide. I am trying to pressure myself and I have begun to think that there’s no way out. I always hate this feeling. I wish I am like those who just don’t care if they jump and die. They just have to jump, that for them, it’s now or never. I am over the hill. I don’t think I need to fear anything in life now. I have survived the major storm in my life before and I'm still standing until now. I really need to gather all my strength and just do it. I know I will be ready to jump soon.