Sometimes Love Bids Goodbye

I have been into hiatus for a year. It seemed I had so much on my mind, but I felt I didn’t have much. Thinking of a topic to write is arduous. One may think that it’s just easy tapping the keyboard, the words swooshing out from your thoughts. But it’s not like that. There are times when you don’t know how to start even the first sentence. There are moments when you feel so lazy to write. But as I said, one year of hibernation. I’m ready to write again. It’s the month of February and it’s the eve of Valentine’s Day. Of course, everybody knows that this month is synonymous with LOVE. Yes, L-O-V-E. LOVE. But no, I’m not going to give any advice about LOVE. I’m not a love guru. I haven’t had any successful relationships, if you would like to know. I’m here to just write something on what I thought about what LOVE is based on my experience. But hey, I’m not going into details. I hope I’m not disappointing you. :) I fell in love when I was 20. He was my college sweetheart. He was my first love. I thought it would last but it didn’t. It was my first heartbreak. It was painful. But life had to go on. So, I moved on. I got into other relationships as time went by. I was even involved with someone committed. No, he was not married. I have my one rule: Never ever get involved with a married man. I let him go knowing someone was waiting for him to marry her. Besides, I didn’t see him as husband material (Sorry. But I truly cared for you in a way, if you’re reading this. :)). I had a series of pure fun dates for a while, but it didn’t give me any conclusion that one of them was the one. I guess I was looking for that magic and spark that I’d been searching all the while. Oh yes! I found someone who gave me that flutter, but we were just so far away, and we were both scared that it wouldn’t work out. So, okay it was already goodbye then before we even started. Then this relationship that lasted for 14 years. It was not a perfect one, but we had fun. It was something that I could say I really gave my all. But along the way, I went astray and hurt the relationship. We didn’t get over it so rather hating each other in the long run, we parted ways. And now, I can’t say I’m alone. I was never alone. And I’m not going to tell you anything anymore. That was my love life then. Now is different. What I’m trying to say is, love is more than a feeling. It is a commitment. It is a decision (I have my former college teacher to thank this for). But somewhere along the way, sometimes we hurt the ones we love. I was never proud of hurting someone. Nobody deserves to get hurt. We don’t have the right to hurt anybody especially the ones we love.

But as what they always say, when we love, we get hurt. The hardest part of loving someone is when it’s time to say goodbye. It’s not easy. Even if you forgive, it’s not going to be the same anymore. No matter how much you want it to last, if it’s not working anymore, it’s not logical to stay. The best thing you can do is let go. You love. You say goodbye. Goodbye will always be love’s nemesis. And as much as we want love to stay, sometimes, it will bid goodbye.

Location: Sarangani Highlands, General Santos City, Philippines 📷 Tammy Billones | Tammy Photography